


Master of the House

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Language, Talks of Violence, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 15:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16895601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Crowley, King of Hell.  It wasn’t an easy job.  It had it good days, but then it had days like today…where it felt like he was running a circus… Inspired by "Master of the House" from Les Miserables.





	Master of the House

**Author's Note:**

> I cut some parts of the song, just because it didn’t fit/make sense for the story (it doesn’t in the production, but not here) Please don’t be angry!!! Hope you like it! :D

_Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down and meet the best innkeeper in town. As for the rest, all of 'em crooks, rooking their guests and cooking the books._

Crowley made his way to the throne room as he looked over his schedule for the day.  It was going to be busy, but he liked busy.  Better to be busy than bored.  He scanned the names of the different demons he had meetings with, recognizing some of them, the others were new…those were the really fun meetings.  He never knew what to expect.

 

“Sir.”  A demon nodded and greeted him as he walked by. Crowley looked him over and smirked.  His clothes were ripped to shreds, he had cuts all over him…nothing he didn’t expect from having feeding duty for his hounds.

 

“Rough night, Jonathan?”  Crowley asked with a smile.  He could hear the hell hounds in the distance and he chuckled as he saw the demon flinch.

 

“No, sir.”  The demon gritted out as he stared at the ground.

 

“Good.  Perhaps you will remember this the next time you decide to fudge your numbers on souls collected…”  Crowley turned his attention away as he continued his walk to the throne room. 

_Seldom do you see honest men like me. A gent of good intent who's content to be Master of the house._

Damn lower level demons.  All of them wanted to climb the ranks quickly.  What happened to good, honest work?  Crowley scoffed as the doors to the throne room opened.  Demons, these days…

 

Crowley didn’t get to the top by fudging the numbers, neither would they.  He wouldn’t tolerate it.  So instead, he decided on cruel forms of punishment for those who were deceptive, like feeding and caring for the hell hound puppies. 

 

Crowley smirked as he took a seat on his throne, and looked over to his secretary.  “Let’s get this started, love.”

 

The cute little thing stood up and nodded as she made her way over to the doors.  “Time to rule hell…”  Crowley added as his first meeting was led in. 

_Doling out the charm, ready with a handshake and an open palm._

“Let me get this straight…”  Crowley said as he took a sip of his tea.  “You want me to let you go topside, so you can…what again?”  Crowley had a look of pure amusement on his face.  He really couldn’t believe the gall of some of these idiots.

 

“I wish to attempt to break the seals to release Lucifer, sir.”  The demon spoke proudly, as if his words would get him some happy words and whatever he wanted served up on a platter.

 

“That’s what I thought you said…”  Crowley leaned over and set his cup down on the small table before glaring at the demon.  “So you want me, to let you, free Lucifer.  The one being who, if ever released, would put me on a stick and roast me alive?” 

 

The demon visibly tensed and Crowley scoffed.  Had the demon really not thought about this?  He couldn’t be this stupid, could he?  The demon took a few steps back and Crowley sighed.  Apparently he was.  “Take him to the racks, let him remember what hell is really about.” 

 

With a wave of his hand, a couple demons came and grabbed the smaller one as he was towed away, crying out pleas of forgiveness, but they fell on deaf ears.  “Next.”  Crowley spoke softly as he took another sip of his tea. 

_Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir, customers appreciate a bon-viveur._

“I see we have a problem with your deals…”  Crowley spoke over the pile of papers that was on the desk in front of him. 

 

“I’m not sure what you mean, sir.” 

 

Crowley looked up and saw a spark of confidence in the young demon’s eyes.  This was the problem around here…everyone thought they were the best, but they weren’t…Crowley was.  Crowley may be the King of Hell, but he will always be the King of the Crossroads.  “All of your contracts are null and void.”  Crowley bit out.

 

The demon looked shocked at his accusation.  “No they are not!”  He screamed as he took a few steps up and grabbed some of the papers. 

 

Crowley sat back as he smiled.  Why not enjoy the little song and dance.  “I gave them what they wanted, and in return I get their souls!  Why are they void?” 

 

“Because you promised them-.”

 

“This one!  I gave her a house, big pension…what the hell is wrong with it?” 

 

Crowley glared at the demon for a moment before he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk.  “Interrupt me again, and I will have your head.  And as I was saying…you didn’t give them what was outlined in the contract, thus it is void.”

 

Crowley snatched up paperwork and showed some of the finer points of the contract, little details that she asked for but that weren’t provided.  “Oh…”  The demon’s head dropped and Crowley rolled his eyes.

 

“You really can’t be this incompetent.” 

_Glad to do a friend a favor, doesn't cost me to be nice. But nothing gets you nothing. Everything has got a little price!_

“My great king, master of the halls of hell…”  The demon spoke as he gave Crowley a flourished bow.

 

“Flattery gets you everything.”  Crowley muttered as the demon went on about how great Crowley was.  After a few more moments though, he got impatient.  “Get on with it.”

 

“Sir, if it pleases you, I would like to ask to be reassigned to a different location.”  The demon before him spoke with great respect. 

 

That captured Crowley’s attention.  “Very well.”  Give respect. Get respect.  Simple moto, Crowley followed it precisely.  “See Cara on your way out…” Now, if only all his meetings would go like that, he would be set…

_Master of the house, keeper of the zoo. Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two._

“What the bloody hell do you mean they got out?!”  Crowley screamed as he looked down to the demons before him.  They were panting and covered in blood and such as they tried to explain.

 

“We were feeding them, and the latch got stuck, and James fell…and-.”

 

“Enough!”  He screamed, his face turning red.  “I am surrounded by bloody morons!”  He stormed down to them and pulled one in by the collar.  “You round up each and every one of them, and put them back, or I will make you their next meal.  Do you understand me?” 

 

“Y-yes, sir!” 

 

Crowley released the demon and the other scattered back out of the door.  Seriously, how does one free fifty hell hound puppies by accident?

_Watering the wine, making up the weight, pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight._

Crowley strolled through the halls as he enjoyed a moment to himself.  It was only halfway through the day and he was already exhausted…well, he would be if demons got exhausted.  Between idiot demons who voided deals, other idiot demons who couldn’t do their damn jobs, the sudden disappearance of ten souls, the appearance of a vampire soul…he was still trying to sort how in the hell that happened…and then the pups getting lose.  It was a long…

 

Crowley stopped in the hallway and stared down.  “Well…gotta hand it to them…”  He chuckled at his own joke as reached down and picked the object up before sighing and returning to the throne room. 

 

As he walked back in, he lifted the object in the air.  “Anyone need a hand?”  He joked as he waved the dismembered body part in the air.  “Honestly, I am not your mother.  This…”  He waved it again.  “This is how you get ants…” 

 

A couple demons chuckled before one cleared his throat and smiled.  “That belonged to Jonathan.” 

 

“Ahh.”  Crowley tossed the dismembered hand over to the demon and smiled.  Jonathan, that demon who was fudging his numbers… The demon caught it but then looked at it strangely, unsure of what to do. “Perhaps you should return it to him.”

 

“Actually sir…this is all that’s left…”  The demon looked away for a moment before shrugging.  “The pups, sir.”

 

“Well then…why not go give them a treat for being such good little hounds?” 

_Everybody bless the landlord! Everybody raise a glass. Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!_

“That was your last meeting of the day, sir.”  Cara said as she handed Crowley a glass of Craig.

 

“Thank you, darling.  You did well today.” 

 

“Thank you, sir!”  She said happily before gathering up the papers on his desk and sorting them into different locations. 

 

Crowley sighed as he took a sip of his favorite drink.  He survived the day, now all he needed to do was sit back and re-

 

His phone chirped at him, begging for attention.  He sighed as he fished phone out and looked down to see the contact ‘Not Moose’ appear across the screen.  “Great…more bloody idiots to deal with…” 


End file.
